By Nancy Patrick

As Mike and I have spent the last six weeks living in our new home in Wesley Court, I have become acquainted with our new neighbors and found that, although our lives have varied greatly, we now find ourselves sharing a similar chapter in our senior years.

In a recent essay, I wrote about the scope of care and lifestyles offered here. As in other times of life, people tend to socialize with groups of similar interests. For instance, the folks who live in independent homes seem to choose activities that involve others in the homes; whereas, the apartment dwellers who live in a more communal environment tend to select activities that appeal more to their surroundings. 

I enjoy observing the married couples who are able to continue their relationships—some in marriages of seventy plus years. Several of us, Mike and I included, are into our fifth decade of marriage, so that means we have a spectrum of people who are in their seventies and some working their ways through their nineties.

Many of our new friends came to Wesley Court with their spouses but have since lost those partners and have had to adjust to widowhood. Typically, meal time is the most enjoyable part of our day because everyone heads to the dining room and finds a place to sit. 

Mike and Nancy Patrick wedding on Nov. 23, 1968

Since the tables are set up for four and six diners, it is easy to look around and find a seat or two where we can meet someone new or join someone we have already had the pleasure of meeting. These meal times provide an opportunity to find out how our neighbors have spent their previous lives. 

Everyone seems to enjoy sharing about their families, their careers, their accomplishments, their disappointments, and simple blessings. As we look around the room or across the table, we see how time has marked all of us.

Mike and I have been together since we were teenagers, so you can imagine what we see in each other. Our hands are getting weaker as our knuckles bend and ache with arthritis. I know Mike aches for me as he watches my experience with the pain of degenerative spinal disease. 

Two couples among our new friends include husbands who have experienced debilitating strokes. Both couples have been married over fifty years, have grown children and grandchildren, worked in rewarding and valuable careers, but now are living out the vows they made many years ago. 

Watching men and women who have loved each other for decades and lived through all of life’s upheavals as they embrace their new roles as caregivers is an emotionally exhausting but rewarding experience. Knowing that someone who was strong, determined, goal-oriented, and driven to succeed is now receiving the care and love that he or she once gave is a humbling experience. 

I know that Mike and I are among the most blessed people in the world—not only because we had the good fortune of birth and family—but because we are among the minority of people in the world who have had “enough.” Not only have we had enough, we have had more than enough. 

I wrote the following poem years ago when I thought I was already old! (I didn’t know old age would take such a long time!) I think about the words every day when I watch my new friends and realize how blessed we have been to have our together moments.  

Together Moments
I turned around and they were gone—
Wild heart beats in the evening sun,|
Glad pulses of together moments.
Mutual plans of future dreams—
Shared thoughts,
Secret smiles,
Stolen touches—
Together moments in the gloaming.

Nancy Patrick is a retired teacher who lives in Abilene and enjoys writing