By Jim Nichols

You probably have heard the joke about the man out for a stroll on his street. He encountered a woman walking her dog and speaking to the dog as if it were a human. He was so amazed that he went right home and told his cat and they both had a good laugh about it.

It is not even a secret that most of us have spoken to animals and assumed it was a perfectly reasonable human thing to do. It is worth noting that it is often difficult to talk to humans, but not hard at all to talk to animals. There must be something worth thinking about there.

Speaking with words, of course, is just one manner of communicating; there are numerous non-verbal forms. We incorporate all of them including body language, eyebrow elevation, facial expression, displays of amusement, or even blatantly ignoring the speaker. But words themselves are central to our communication; they may not, however, be completely straightforward in all cases.

The late writer Brian Doyle probed our use of language in an essay by the wonderful title, “The Way We Do Not Say What We Mean When We Say What We Say.” Doyle notes the importance of words as negotiators. If we whisper “no” that is different than a loud “no.” I suspect each of us has said “yes” when we really meant “I would rather not.” Verbal messages are sometimes loaded and depend on the history of those involved in the conversation.

Admittedly, it was Jesus who said, “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.’” Honesty is certainly critical, but love supersedes all else. How is love best served by my words?

Sometimes we cannot even hear, or at least understand, the words from someone, but we still feel communication occurring. Walking on the side of the road, a man observed a yellow school bus approaching and stopping right beside him. It was, he said, the “kindergarten bus.” He reported that all seven kindergartners (including one wearing a bright green and purple stegosaurus hat) crowded to the side of the bus near him and smiled and talked and laughed with him through the windows. He could not hear them, but they communicated, nevertheless. As happens to all of us, the man was dealing with difficulties in his life and, frankly, wondering whether God even existed. The kindergarten smiles, dinosaur hat, and unheard words snapped him out of it as he remembered the imaginative world around him, including a yellow school bus.

I had a similar experience at a restaurant recently, an experience that I have observed several times, and you probably have too. It coincided with a question a friend asked me. She wondered what were images of God that I had encountered. She had pondered the question herself and suggested that she had thought about lightning, fire, and a peaceful flowing river. 

My mind jumped to my sitting alone at a restaurant table and observing a group of eight young women of college age or a bit older. I could not hear any details, but could tell from the smiles, laughter, and general joy that they were delighted to see one another after a long time. During those minutes, their happiness jumped over to my table and I was refreshed in the goodness of God and the unheard words the women were sharing. 

When I am serving as a chaplain in the hospital, I often go to a nurses’ station and ask if they have any recommendation of a patient who might benefit from a visit. They quickly give me room numbers of patients who have had no family or friends visit or who are stressed about an upcoming surgery or diagnosis. One of my chaplain mentors suggested to me that patients usually have something to ask or say, but they do not have anyone to listen. That is a role I can play. Once I point out to the patient that I am “safe” and do not carry any needles or other sharp items, they often will begin speaking freely. It is as if they have words bottled up and now, they can release them.

You do not have to be a chaplain in a hospital to do this. You just have to be with someone and convince them you are safe.

Jim Nichols is a retired Abilene Christian University biology professor and current hospital chaplain