By Jim Nichols

One of the most avoided human experiences is the feeling of vulnerability. We may make a mistake, but we can often recover from that. We may put our foot in our mouth, but an explanation or apology might smooth it over. We may even become angry, but we have learned that apologies work wonders there.

When we are in a vulnerable position, however, there is an emotional nakedness that is not well matched by any other situation. When you were a child, if you moved from one city or neighborhood to another, entering a new school and making new friends was a powerful challenge. The same thing happens with adults in new situations. Each of us prefers to lead an ordered life with a steady set of expectations and results. When our props supporting us are weakened, a new level of distress enters our hearts and minds. I would suggest that vulnerability presents both negative and positive options for us. It also connects us with other important human emotions and actions.

A clear negative to vulnerability is that it can diminish a person’s dignity. This is seen easily in the hospital or medical clinic. If we are sick or injured, our sense of self is damaged. We need not only medical care, but also human care.

In non-medical situations, the conditions may be superficially different, but the importance of the quality of attention and care is similar. A student in a professor’s office may be concerned about better academic performance, but he or she is also concerned about who they are as a person and student.

A common denominator for each of us is the desire to feel safe. If we are receiving information from the medical people or professors, we are OK if we feel safe. For most of us, information is acceptable if our safety is not diminished. When that does not occur, we become defensive. Often when we are defensive our minds and hearts become disorganized, and our responses are not what we hoped for.

There is a larger instruction here for us. Honesty is accepted better if it is given by someone you can trust who wants good for you. Information, instruction, or even criticism must translate that the speaker is out for the receiver’s good. You are still “OK” together. To put a theological spin on this, God does not flinch at me at my worst (or at your worst).

Any time patients, students, or each of us can become content with reality we have made giant steps toward confidence. If we can be content with being created beings of a good God, life brightens with assured hope.

We need to practice (speaking to myself for sure here) understanding that our failures are events. They are something we go through; they are not what we are. 

If someone has a cast on their arm or leg, it is obvious, and we can maneuver around it and be as gentle as we can. Usually, our casts are not visible to others. Understanding that most casts cannot be seen should cause us to be gentle with one another. The better we listen to one another, the easier unsolvable problems become solvable. The murky water that is churning smooths out and quiets. Giving voice to someone who is vulnerable is a significant gift to that person.

We do not often grow without opening ourselves up, but our human nature has taught us that openness can sometimes bring an undesirable situation or information. Opening ourselves to God requires a desire to do so. Vulnerability to God is directly related to trust—to allow God to work in us and to take us to a new place. There is a yielding we must do. We must allow a certain amount of disorder in our lives and faith if we are to achieve a more appropriate and holy level or order.

Admittedly, this can be scary stuff. A pertinent and powerful reflection by the Apostle Paul addresses this as he writes that the Lord said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”

Vulnerability is an expression of weakness. Apparently, God blesses it.

Jim Nichols is a retired Abilene Christian University biology professor and current hospital chaplain