By Jim Nichols

Birthday parties are activities that need no explanation. From days of our childhood, we have each been the honoree or participant in these events that feature presents, cakes, games, and general fun. Everybody seems to like birthday parties.

As adults we still frequent these parties. Stepping back from the apparently universal fun of the childhood versions, however, there is a thoughtful aspect of the parties that should not be missed. Although fun, there are some burdens present. This is not meant to be a dark reflection, but it is meant as a realistic one. Personal concerns do not disappear just because it is a party.

There was a large birthday party recently that illustrated this to an observer. The group of nearly thirty people required renting a private venue that served well with space and accommodations. The time contained joy, good wishes, great conversations, and what will be considered lifetime memories for many. Attending were participants from every era of the family from infants to great-grandparents. The observer noted that everyone seemed to be happy. Seldom are any of us in a group where there seems to be such universal happiness. It was a joyful and spiritual time in the best sense.

These were, however, humans, and each of them was carrying burdens. Some of those burdens were known to others; some were private but still real. The presence of these burdens did not steal the happiness of the party, but they remained sitting in the hearts and minds of the participants. They generally concerned the future. The variety was wide.

Several of the younger ones were facing immediate decisions. Their current schooling has ended or will end soon. Where will they go then? When you are young, your mind is filled with exciting options. As the years go by, however, limitations of time, finances, and interest appear. The amount of indecision becomes a burden. Military service? College? Which one? Job? What kind of job? What am I really good at?

If we are not in that stage now, we have all been there; it is a troubling time. One of the most common dilemmas is that a young person grows to realize that by making a choice in one direction, that means choosing against another direction. 

These younger people have a parental generation watching, praying, and worrying for them. Having adult children is a whole new category of burden. The parents watch with pride, pleasure, and wonder if their now-adult children will be able to navigate life based on what they, the parents, had tried to instill. The parents recognize that there were some gaps in their parenting.

Some of the marriages in the room are new and others are decades old. Perhaps it seems inappropriate to refer to the “burdens” of marriage, but there are, at least, some compromises that one makes. Furthermore, those are different during each stage of married life. Every year unfolds new decisions and complications that need to be considered together. Scanning the room, the observer noted some of the marriage stresses that existed.

At the other end of the age spectrum, some of the partygoers are reaching a significant age. Their burdens/concerns are different than others’ partly because of the physical changes occurring in their bodies. 

All these people were in the same place at the same time enjoying the celebration. Their life concerns did not diminish that, but they did share with one another a significant uncertainty of the future. Although generally unspoken, it certainly existed.

This is the way it has always been, including for God’s people. They have always wondered about the next step, the next river to cross, the next crop to plant. How much time remains? What new difficulties are ahead?

People of faith need to continue to remind each other that these are not unique concerns. The Bible has many accounts of God followers wondering and wandering but being assured by God that they cannot go anywhere where He is not already present. Psalm 139 speaks such words as the writer, David, says “. . . even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.”

Jim Nichols is a retired Abilene Christian University biology professor and current hospital chaplain