By Danny Minton

Most things we see and hear in life are filed somewhere in our minds and never referred to again. There are some events that make such an impression that they pop up in our thoughts from time to time. One of those events resurfaced in my thoughts this week as I considered what to share through my article. It was simple, but it left an impression on me, especially as we enter this time of the year.

The time and exact place have been forgotten, but the simple picture in my mind remains. My wife and I were in a restaurant when I glanced over and saw a man quietly eating alone. At the time, I believe his wife was suffering from dementia and was in a care facility. The picture is pressed in my memory. I could feel the loneliness and sadness of someone who once enjoyed the company of a companion, whose life was now one full of many meals, quiet and alone with only memories of the one who would sit across from him and what used to be.

Loneliness comes along in different ways and can affect people of any age. The death of a spouse, especially for those who have no children, can place someone in times of loneliness. Sometimes, a person’s personality keeps others away, causing them to find themselves with many lonely hours. In many circumstances, even couples can feel lonely without close friends or family. Sometimes, when someone suffers from a special need, mentally or physically, people shy away from them. Loneliness can find its way into someone’s life in many ways. It’s not always evident, even to those who are around them. 

The feelings of loneliness can be enhanced during this time of the year. Holidays that should be joyful can be hurtful, especially if you have no one with whom to share the times. Many see people gathering and feel the loss of their companions. Others will feel left out, not being the “popular” person to be invited to parties and gatherings. While most will enjoy their friends and family, there will be those left out.

For the past 20-plus years my wife and I have hosted an open house for a couple of groups in which we’re the leaders. We have added to this group many widows from the congregation, some who we feel might not be invited to any other function. We’ve also added a few over the years who we felt might not be asked to anything else for one reason or another. We feel everyone needs to be a part of something during this time of year. 

When I think about Jesus, he always thinks about people who, in some way, are outcasts or ordinary people. He’s even accused of spending time with people who are looked down upon by society. To Jesus, everyone was important. Even when he picked the twelve, he chose men with questionable personalities. James and John were known as “Sons of Thunder.” Matthew was a hated tax collector. Simon was a Zealot, a strong opponent of the Romans. Would we invite those types of people to our home for a family meal?

Take the time this year to look around you when you invite others into your home. When you plan your Thanksgiving or Christmas gatherings, look to see if there is someone who will be sitting at home with a TV dinner because they have no one else with whom to share the day. Be aware of those in your circle who are lonely and find a way to bring joy into their lives. Visit someone who is a shut-in, take cookies to a widow or widower, or call up someone you know needs encouragement. But don’t do it just for those that are well-known” or “popular.” Do it for those who are too often pushed aside and forgotten. Everyone belongs at the table with Jesus.

Romans 12:13 (NIV2011) “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” 
Hebrews 13:2 (NIV2011) “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” 
1 Peter 4:9-10 (NIV2011) “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 

Danny Minton is a former Elder and minister at Southern Hills Church of Christ