By DANNY MINTON

In the movie “Fiddler on the Roof,” Tevya and Golde have been married for 25 years and have the following conversation after learning their daughter was marrying for love.

Tevye: It’s a new world. A new world. Love. Golde, do you love me?
Golde: Do I what?

Tevye: Do you love me?
Golde: Do I love you? With our daughters getting married and this trouble in the town, you’re upset, you’re worn out, go inside, go lie down! Maybe it’s indigestion!

Tevye: “Golde, I’m asking you a question. Do you love me?
Golde: You’re a fool!

Tevye: I know, but do you love me?
Golde: Do I love you? For twenty-five years, I’ve washed your clothes, cooked your meals, cleaned your house, given you children, milked the cow, after twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?

Tevye: Golde, the first time I met you was on our wedding day. I was scared.
Golde: I was shy.

Tevye: I was nervous.
Golde: So was I.

Tevye: But my father and my mother said we’d learn to love each other, and now I’m asking. Golde, do you love me?
Golde: I’m your wife.

Tevye: I know, but do you love me?
Golde: Do I love him? For twenty-five years, I’ve lived with him, fought him, starved with him, twenty-five years, my bed is his; if that’s not love, what is?

Tevye: Then you love me?
Golde: I suppose I do.

Tevye: And I suppose I love you too.
Tevye and Golde: It doesn’t change a thing, but even so, after twenty-five years, it’s nice to know.

Love. It’s a simple word that occurs over seven hundred times in various forms in the Bible. It’s first on Paul’s “Fruits of the Spirit.” In 1 Corinthians 13:13, he writes, “But now faith, hope, love abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Peter shares his thoughts on love in 1 Peter 4:8 when he says, “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another because love covers a multitude of sins.” Love makes its presence a central theme in God’s word. God loves all people. Jesus loves us all. He tells how the greatest love is giving your life for others, physically or through how you live by helping others. We are taught to love one another, love our neighbors, love our spouses, love our children, love our parents, love those who wrong us, and even love our enemies. Most of all, we are told to love God above all others. 

The lyrics from the song in “Fiddler on the Roof” make me stop and realize that the love spoken about in the Bible rarely refers to telling someone you love them. It reminded me of when Jesus sat down with Peter and asked the same question, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Jesus asked him three times, and each time the response of Peter was, “You know that I love You.” After each time, Jesus instructs Peter to complete a task for him: Tend My lambs, Shepherd My sheep, Tend My Sheep. I believe Jesus may have been trying to tell Peter, “Words are good, but serving others is ultimately how we express our love to and for God.

Listen to the words of Jesus. “By this, all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  John 13:35 (NASB) “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.” John 15:10 (NASB) “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,  so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Matthew 5:44-45 (NASB) “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you.” John 15:13-14 (NASB)

When we serve out of love, we do so without expecting anything in return. We serve because we want to help. Love seeks peace among all men and women. It doesn’t hold grudges or desire ill will toward anyone. Love is giving a cup of cold water to those thirsty, no matter who they might be. Love is reaching out to those in need. It exists in our hearts not as a self-seeking desire but as a desire to share the love that Jesus expressed throughout His ministry. Just saying “I love you” can be empty words without the actions to show their meaning.

Years ago, I came across a story about a man who lived in the 1500s. He was married but also had a lover. His wife learned about the affair but remained faithful to her husband because of her strong love for him. 

One day, the man’s mistress fell ill with the plague. The man could not see her, but unknown to his wife, or so he thought, he would put on his coat and hat, saddle his horse, and ride to the home of his mistress. He would stay on the main road, and as he passed in front of her house, he would wave to her as she struggled to look out the window so far away. 

The man continued to keep this routine for days until he fell victim to the plague and eventually died. The mistress remained ill all during this time. Knowing what he did, the man’s wife arose one morning, dressed in her husband’s clothes, coat, and hat, mounted his horse, and rode to the mistress’s home. There, she paused and waved to the lady in the window. She did this day after day, encouraging the woman until she overcame the disease. It was a simple act of love for someone who had hurt her.

Tevya and Golde knew they loved each other, not by the words, but by how they had shown their love over the years. It’s important to say it, but vital to show it. “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1 Corinthians 13:1 (NASB)

Danny Minton is a former Elder and minister at Southern Hills Church of Christ