By Jim Nichols

There are words in our language that can have quite different meanings depending on the context of their use. One such word merits our interest here; the word is “agency.”

Most commonly, when someone uses that word the reference is to a division of the government, that is, some federal agency. For example, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA).

Another way to use the word is to describe some human characteristics collectively. That is, we might speak about a person “having agency.” Rather than getting stuck in a word study, here is the explanation given by my computer when asked “What does it mean for a person to have agency?” “It means they possess the ability and belief that they can make their own choices, initiate actions, and effectively influence their own life and circumstances, feeling in control rather than powerless against fate or outside forces, involving goal-setting, planning, and self-regulation. It’s about being an effective agent for oneself, having the confidence to pursue aspirations, and taking responsibility for outcomes.”

That sounds rather good, doesn’t it? It sounds like good old American creativity, ingenuity, and hard work.

Without disparaging the positives of that list, we need to remember a strong caution—agency, especially unlimited agency, is a fantasy. This is really a false hope that the only limit on our goals, happiness, and success is ourselves. 

The reality is that perfection in our lives cannot be met by efforts of our own.

At the beginning of this new year, we can tell ourselves that this year will be different than before. This time we will have more healthy habits, better plans, a more positive mindset. “We can finally become the person we were always supposed to be,” as Kate Bowler suggests with tongue in cheek.

But the fantasy of unlimited agency collapses as life occurs. Children do not usually sense this, but most of us can remember those events of our lives when things did not seem as fun and easy as they were before. Television showed people angry and fighting; wars seemed everywhere; the parents of some friends divorced and married other people. (“How can they do that? we ask.”)

As we become adults we encounter chronic illness, grief, unfeeling leaders, responsibilities we did not choose but with which we are saddled. We recognize that much around us is not under our control; it is not even close.

When perfection is clearly no longer an option in our lives, we must begin making some admissions. Unlimited agency is a false hope. However, what can we do rather than wallow in despair?

I believe that God has some suggestions for us. 

We must admit that we are humans, not machines. We cannot be and do everything. We will not get to develop every interest that we have or achieve every goal. I tried, but I never made it off my junior high baseball team to the major leagues.

There are multiple positive contributions we can make, but the number is limited by our bodies, strength, age, and skills. 

We do not have unlimited agency, but we do have a limited form, and it comes with responsibilities. For those of us trying to follow God, we have responsibility to do important things. When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he doubled the answer. Love God and love your neighbors. That is a significant short list of challenges.

If we walk in God’s grace (speaking especially to myself now), one practical growth area is to re-interpret our view of interruptions. Since we cannot script what will happen in our lives within the next minute or hour, we can improve on our response to a delay, a detour, a harsh word. If we devote our lives to a culture of self-improvement, any interruption appears as a failure. We have learned that some interruptions are unwelcome; some are even painful.

They are a reminder that we were never really in control, but that God is still present.

I am trying to incorporate a hard text from author James Finley: “God is a presence that protects us from nothing, even as God unexplainably sustains us in all things.” That is, although God does not protect us from everything, God does not abandon us. His love makes that impossible.

Jim Nichols is a retired Abilene Christian University biology professor and current hospital chaplain