By Jim Nichols

Classroom valentine parties were an exciting time during my early boyhood days. My parents would buy me a multipage scrapbook that contained both valentine cards and envelopes for them. My task was to use my blunt-end scissors to cut them out. The envelopes were the most complicated because they had trim on them that was to be folded correctly and pasted to construct the envelope. I have memories of using small wooden sticks like popsicle sticks and dipping them in thick paste and smearing the appropriate areas of the envelope. Folding the now-pasted margins without sticking extraneous areas (or my fingers) was a challenge. It also had a memorable odor. 

Choosing the correct valentine card for each student was an important activity. Many of the cards used the written word “love” somewhere; that gave me pause addressing a few of the cards. One of the reasonable but unfortunate aspects of language translation is that often an English word does not have a direct corollary in the other language or vice versa. Sometimes, there are multiples of either the English or other language and a direct translation compels a translator to accept a degree of imprecision.

If your background has led you to Christian worship services, you have heard more than one sermon on the difficulty of understanding the word “love.” The sermon outline suggests that there are four versions of the Greek word (the language of the New Testament) for “love.” Those include:

Eros love: romantic or sexual love; involves passion and intensity.

Storge love: family love; parents for children, between siblings; steady and sure.

Philia love: emotional connections that are deeper than casual; this is a community love, but not as deep as family love.

Agape love: love that comes from God; divine love, perfect, pure, self-sacrificing.

Regardless of those complications, “love” is clearly a powerful word; the fact that it can mean more than one thing expands its power.

One might think that greeting cards (valentine cards and others) have existed for centuries, but modern cards began to flourish in Kansas City, Missouri, in 1910 when Joyce Hall started using artwork, poetry, and printing presses to develop what we would recognize today. The company quickly graduated past mere holiday cards to “wrapping paper,” party supplies, ornaments, and even, of course, television. Now employing 27,000 worldwide, the Hall Company and Hallmark are multi-national. There is a visitor center in Kansas City displaying the history and development of the extensive company of artists, designers, stylists, writers, editors, and photographers. “When you care enough to send the very best” is a phrase that sticks in minds. Cards on Valentine’s Day merit attention.

Truly, the construction of valentine cards has come a long way since my cutting and pasting. One could contend, however, that behind it all is still the same motive—”I like you (in some way) and I want you to know it.” Perhaps that “like” is even some form of “love.”

In fact, there are situations in which we see these four types of love overlap and even fuse. The hospital emergency room features this intersection often.

The relatively young woman had died and there were mourners. Her husband was in deep grief and oscillated from being reasonable to being unable to speak. At one point he got off the phone and said to me with disbelief, “I had to talk to the funeral home about my wife.”

The patient’s mother had her own grief, different from the husband. This was her baby, her toddler, her teenager. It was a special type of love.

The patient’s sister mourned the loss of her playmate and confidante, her always-dependable friend. Who would fill that space for her now?

Observing this are workers in the emergency room. This is these people’s job, of course, and they experience this frequently, but they are not immune to sadness and grief. They are part of the grieving community, philia love in action.

It is not an exaggeration to identify that agape love is hovering whether the participants see or feel it. If we believe God is present and concerned in all situations, we can sense that agape blooms not only to romantic love, but serving love, forgiving love, including love, caring love, and sacrificing love.

Love is a big word.

Jim Nichols is a retired Abilene Christian University biology professor and current hospital chaplain