By DANNY MINTON

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a minister from another church background different from mine. He was twenty-five to thirty years younger than me and had been in ministry for twenty years. He told me he was considering quitting the full-time ministry and thought about doing something else. I asked him what was causing him to consider that possibility. In simple terms, he told me, “I’m just tired.” He shared several struggles I had heard from others who left the ministry over the years. Having almost fifty years of ministry experience, I understood his anxiety. He spoke of the pressures of ministry in dealing with church members. He shared how the weight of working with problems daily was a heavy burden. He felt underappreciated. He told me how a minister’s life was lonely with no close friends. These were comments that I had heard dozens of times over the decades and, at times, felt some myself.

A Pastoral Care survey recently stated that approximately 42 percent of ministers consider leaving full-time ministry each year. There’s a wide range of those who leave; however, each month several hundred ministers leave the full-time ministry either by choice or being “let go” for various reasons. Many young ministers have commented that their training did not adequately prepare them for what true ministry is like.

Here are some of the thoughts I have heard over the years and some areas where you can better understand and help the ministers in your congregation. 

1. Many ministers have told me they feel like they live under a microscope. Every member has their opinion on what their minister says and does. Ministers sometimes feel insecure because they know anyone can complain to the leadership about them. To some, it’s like a room full of bosses, watching and evaluating each step taken.
2. A minister’s job is not easy. People don’t realize they only see a small part of what a minister does during the week. Sundays are easy days compared to what often takes place during the week. In addition, they cannot share much of what they do because of privacy. Most ministers do their ministry without the need for public accolades. They are available seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. This often eats into personal and family time.
3. Many ministers have told me that they are lonely and do not have a close friend in the congregation. They don’t feel they have anyone to share their inner feelings. These feelings result in ministers holding things within themselves. Another Pastoral Care survey stated that 84 percent of ministers do not have a close friend in the congregation with whom they can share their innermost feelings.
4. Working with many individuals and families’ problems results in sleepless nights and a heavy heart. A professional counselor can often listen and then go home without carrying the weight of the conversations with them. However, the people who come to a minister are usually people with whom they have a relationship in their congregation. This closeness causes the thoughts to remain with them at all hours. 
5. Many ministers are “just tired,” not due to physical hard labor but the mental tiredness that comes with dealing with many people in many ways. Unless you have been in this type of situation, it is difficult to comprehend how tired someone gets going through mental stress daily.

So, how can you help those who minister in your congregation? Here are some thoughts to consider.

1. Encourage them. Ministers do not serve to receive the praise of men; however, they do need encouragement. Sometimes they need encouragement for a job well done, and other times when you know they are going through a rough period in their ministry. Phone calls, notes, cards, a passing word, taking them out to eat, inviting them into your home, or anything else that comes to mind to show appreciation. Don’t forget all those who are ministers in the congregation. Those who work behind the scenes are often the ones whom we fail to encourage.
2. Remember, ministers are not perfect. Like each of us, they have faults and sometimes make mistakes. Allow them to stumble and show the same grace to them that you would expect from others when you fall short of how you should live.
3. Please encourage them to have family time away. They spend so much time dealing with helping other families that it isn’t uncommon to fail to have time for their own family needs. With so much to do with others, they can feel guilty for taking time off for their personal life when they feel they should be helping someone else. Never expect them to be at every function, wedding, shower, etc. 
4. Don’t use them as a sounding board for every little complaint you have about your congregation. Don’t expect them to be your go-between to solve every issue you have. 
5. Love them. Support them. Encourage them. Pray for them. They are there for you. Be there for them.

Remember, sometimes, “They are just tired.”

Danny Minton is a former Elder and minister at Southern Hills Church of Christ