By NANCY PATRICK

Today’s social climate presents many challenges. I’m not sure if the cause for the rise in depression, violence, climate change, suicide, and lethargy has one diagnosis. Some blame much of the dismal atmosphere on COVID. I agree that the two-year pandemic changed our world in some irreversible ways, but I’m not so sure we can blame COVID for all of it.

I know that many of us feel a sense of loss—a loss that creates grief. People who have lost jobs or careers, loved ones, or drive and ambition grieve those losses. Certainly, not all losses are equal.

Elizabeth Bishop wrote a poem entitled “One Art,” claiming that losing is actually an art. The poet uses hyperbole as she traces the typical types of loss people experience. Although her theme relates to losing a lover, the ideas in the poem can fit accurately the losses many people of my generation (Baby Boomer) experience.

Youth is such an exhilarating time of life. I remember having unlimited energy and initiative about all kinds of chores. Because I taught in public school, I had summers off for continuing education; however, I had a lot of time for personal activities.

I loved working outside, doing yardwork. I felt that since my husband had a 9-5 job, he shouldn’t come home to do yard work when I had the entire day to do it. I enjoyed decades of mowing, trimming, and weeding.

As a young family living in Princeton, Illinois, Mike and I became parents to Jason, our only child. Mike pastored a church there, and I stayed at home with Jason. As an active pastor’s wife, I did many things in the community. In those days, we had only one vehicle, but I could easily navigate the entire small town of Princeton on my bike. Mike installed a baby carrier behind my bike seat, and I rode all over that town with Jason in tow as I delivered church materials to members or visited.

Princeton is a lovely little town with many opportunities for biking, hiking, easy shopping, and community involvement. I recall so many times as Jason and I rode the bike around town, loving the fun, health, and energy of youth. 

Aging and loss did not occupy my thoughts. Obviously as the decades passed, I realized that I was losing some of that youth, health, and energy. How did this happen? The time had crept up and begun stealing parts of my life.

Elizabeth Bishop’s list of losses begins with lost keys, forgotten names, times for appointments, and bequeathed heirlooms. At that point she becomes hyperbolic with lost houses, cities, rivers, and continents. She suggests that even though those losses, though difficult, aren’t disastrous. 

At that point, she shifts to the loss of her lover; as hard as she tries, she cannot make herself dismiss that loss as she does the others. This loss truly devastates her. 

Bishop’s losses represent the progression of loss in many of our lives. We may notice that we can’t hear the television without higher volumes. Most of us will develop cataracts on our eyes and require surgery to restore clear vision. Then arthritis begins causing aches, pains, and crooked joints. 

Some of those joint problems may require major surgeries—knees, shoulders, hips, and back. Extensive physical therapy often accompanies these procedures.

In addition, our general health may decline as diseases such as heart, lung, and stomach issues arise. Two of the most dreaded threats of loss are cancer and dementia. Cancer often requires surgeries and chemotherapy; plus, a cancer survivor faces the possibility of a recurrence of the disease.

Cognitive loss terrifies me more than any other loss. Most Baby Boomers have cared for parents who left this world with dementia. Sadly, many of those Baby Boomers now experience dementia for themselves. The realization that we might lose our identity is a disastrous loss.

How can we live with aging and loss without sinking into a deep depression? I wish I had an easy answer, but unfortunately, I do not. Shakespeare’s Sonnet 73 addresses this topic by suggesting that we cherish what we have when we have it. We will all leave this life, but our time here is precious: “This thou perceiv’st, which makes thy love more strong,

To love that well which thou must leave ere long.”

The scripture offers more comforting passages from the Bible. John 16:22 says, “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”

In addition, Romans 8:18 promises: “”I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

Whatever one’s faith, we can find comfort in knowing that our God controls not only this present world but also the eternal one. God has many names in various faith walks, but this we all believe–God is God—and we are not. 

Nancy Patrick is a retired teacher who lives in Abilene and enjoys writing